This Thing...

Ok, so there's this guy at school that I've hated since 5th grade. If you know me well enough, you'd already who I'll be talking about. He was new to my school in 5th grade. I met him in band and I had a crush on him, which was a mistake I made because I was dumb.  I knew he was a big jerk, but I still liked him. I was mean to him though. He made fun of me everyday. One day, he made this joke about me having a "mustache"(I know, really immature right?) That same comment carried on to 6th grade.  It got really annoying and some other stupid guys started doing it. Most of my depression and anger came from him. In 6th grade, I stopped liking him. I started HATING him. He was the only person I TRULY HATED from the bottom of my heart. I'm in 7th grade now and he's still making fun of me.  I had a great time at the first dance of the year until he ruined it.  I punched him, but it obviously didn't hurt him as much as he had hurt me. The last 15 minutes of the dance, I was depressed and full of rage. I looked over and saw him slow dance with this girl I hate. That's when I realized there's a part of me that likes him. A really, really, really, really, really, small part. I was really confused and disappointed in myself for that. For the rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I would think, "I hate him so much!" to, "Why would he dance with her!" to, "I want to die." I got off the bus, and walked to my room, then out of no where, I started crying... bawling. My brother was there. H predicted why I was crying and he was right, because I would come home a lot bitching about him. Now, I have decided not to talk to him, or look at him, or talk about him. I've tried to erase him from my mind. A few days ago, during P.E., he asked me a question. All I did was nod, or shake my head. It wasn't that I was trying not to talk to him, but it was because it was so hard to talk to him. I honestly don't know why. 

No, I won't tell you the names, but it u know me well enough, you know who there are. That's why I really hope that no one I know reads this... :/

-shwow

P.S. I don't like him anymore 2/28/09